“The long and winding road that leads to your door will never disappear. I’ve seen that road before. It always leads me here… leads me to your door. Why leave me standing here? Let me know the way.”

Did you recognize those words? They’re from “The Long and Winding Road” by the Beatles. It’s my way of introducing the people who have crossed my path and have let me know the way. Whether the interaction was brief, or I traveled with them for months or years, they came in answer to my spiritual need, or, they called me and I came. Who knows… maybe both possibilities could be true.

You’ll notice that all of the people I mention are men. I wondered about that as I was pre-writing this in my head. Everything is filtered through the spiritual for me, and it has been that way since early childhood. Traditionally, men have been the teachers of spiritual knowledge… perhaps because they venture forth much more than we do as that is their nature. Women have coached me in quiet ways and taught by example and by response – you know how it is with a woman, when you’re getting it wrong she doesn’t have to say much… a look conveys a book!

But there is another reason as well, and I might as well fess up. I haven’t looked for women as teachers because I haven’t respected their spiritual knowledge. It’s that ever-present matrix of conditioning and programming again. Yes, we women suffer from feelings of disdain toward each other and our own selves. But the good news is that it’s all changing. A tender and courageous wisdom is needed now to help hearts open up – the pain of the world has become too great for the people to bear. And we can’t make it through this ball of confusion by letting fear get at us. We have to go the other way, and that way involves bringing forth the feminine energy.

So with me you have a woman who has taken a long and winding road, and often asked, “Why leave me standing here? Let me know the way.” I can offer what I’ve experienced, mixed with what I’ve learned, mixed with what I’ve been taught by some incredible men who have ventured out – some of them far beyond the matrix.

The first experience I had in seeing my own conditioning and programming was when I journeyed from White America into Black America. Khallid Hakim, who would become my second husband, was a martial arts teacher and a “Black Muslim” who had stepped away from the fold after the death of Elijah Muhammad. With him I began to read books that would never have crossed my path, and I began to listen. One of the books, written many years earlier, said that the dollar would become worthless and America was going to fall. It seemed highly unlikely at the time, but I kept reading as it was ringing a bell. And I kept looking.

Oh, what a humbling education… to see yourself as others see you. I had never known how the white world was viewed through the eyes of black people. Could I have known? The message was out there, but we are so good at “whitewashing”. Curtis Mayfield was talking, Gil Scott Heron was talking, The Temptations were talking, Marvin Gaye was talking, Bob Marley was talking, Nina Simone was talking. I was a fan of Black music who couldn’t get into the reality of it until I entered that reality.

I remember one of my first observations upon moving to Chicago’s south side: “Our world is like a photographic negative – nothing is as we think it is!” Khallid would be the one to introduce me to my friend and spiritual teacher, Silis Muhammad. From him I would get the instruction… “Don’t ask who God is, ask what God is.” He taught about truth – not “The Truth”, but truth itself: How to speak it, how to listen for it, how to practice it. That concept, when taken to heart, is transformative, as we are programmed to tell lies in order to avoid disapproval.

I spent nearly 20 years with Mr. Muhammad, helping him bring the case for Afro-descendant human rights to the UN. In my writings on this blog I will gradually unfold some of the things I learned from him. But for now, suffice it to say that peoples, as well as individuals, go through extraordinary evolutionary processes. From intense pressure over a very long time period, comes a diamond of great value.

During this time I began reading Stuart Wilde’s books. I needed something for myself. As Mr. Muhammad would say, “A duck in a chicken house is still a duck.” No matter how much I might love Black, I can’t be it. There is a vibe, a collective evolution, a resurrection, and a shared experience that I do not share. One can love and support a beautiful outcome that one does not share.

Stuart’s books were food for my spirit – insightful and funny, and honest. He led in the direction of understanding energy, intuition, perception and meditation, and I was familiar with those practices having trained in and taught the martial arts with my husband for years. Stuart taught self-discipline, self-mastery, and outside-the-box thinking to people he called “fringe dwellers.”

For those of you who don’t believe in energy as a force, or as thought having substance because you can’t see it, well, you might as well stop reading cuz that’s where I’m going. You can’t see air either, or the mind… tee hee – I just gave myself a chuckle.

After reading Stuart’s books for several years, I attended one of his seminars. I thought I might see a gathering of “new agers” filled with the cosmic light, eternal love, universal consciousness, transmissions from planets and so on. There were some cosmic folks there, and I think they were a little dissatisfied with Stuart’s lectures. He knows a very great change is upon us, and there is a matrix of control squeezing tighter and tighter and tighter. Many people don’t want to think about that. I’m guessing you might not like to either. But the time is what is.

At the seminar I saw two more men who would become teachers – Khris Krepcik and Jeff Casper. Khris is a student of Stuart and a teacher of advanced metaphysics. Don’t get that phrase wrong. You don’t go to him to become beyond human. You go to him to learn how to be humble, honorable, emotionally free and a decent person with above average perception. I have benefited greatly from his teaching, and I am just a beginner there.

Jeff Casper and Jona Bryndis are students of both Stuart and Khris. They provide a good place to start looking into yourself. As they say, everything is energy, everything can change, everything can heal. They help with inner child work and understanding your conditioning and programming well enough to be able to change it and overcome it. I have found it very valuable. And look at that! I have accepted a woman as a teacher!

Finally, but not lastly, I must introduce you to Soren Dreier because he’s the one who inspired this blog and related videos I’ll do as I move forward. Going to someone for an intuitive reading has never been my thing, as foretelling always looked like a shady gig to me. That’s what I thought an intuitive reading would be. When Stuart wrote a blog post about it, and his enjoyment of a reading done by Soren, I decided to look at it again. So I visited Soren’s Zen-Haven website and bopped around in there for a while.

It looked good and Soren’s articles were inspiring, so I surprised myself and asked for a reading. Back it came… deeply insightful, and exacting, and focused on what the energy presents… not on predictions. And here I am now, talking to you through my Soren-inspired blog.

To close up this overly-long article (sorry about that!) let’s go back to the road. Where the mind goes the energy flows… in the martial arts we know that statement is true inside, and to some extent outside the body. But how much more is there to this experience of energy? If the universe is energy as holographic fractal mathematics, (which physicists will tell you) then what do we little tiny humans know about what is possible?

Our lives are very brief and they are filled with suffering… what to do? The greatest spiritual teachers of history have pointed out that all spirituality is meant to relieve suffering – your own suffering and the suffering of others. If what you’re doing isn’t working for you, then knock on the door you come to, and say, “Let me know the way.”

~ Ida Lawrence

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