“Whenever I saw my grandmother, she would look me right in the eyes and say, ‘Are you home, Barbara?’ I would look right back into her eyes and we would smile… ‘Yes, I’m home Grandma.’ We’d give a big hug. Grandma could always bring me back to myself.”
A friend told me that story about her grandmother, and it stayed with me until I became a grandmother. It’s what we can do for the little ones, if we have a mind to: look in those eyes and say, “I can see you in there, beautiful spirit!”
The renewal is all about the children. Of course it is. Envision, if you will, undamaged, life-loving, truth-telling young people taking our efforts forward and creating a new way of being – sounds better than a new world order, doesn’t it! The renewal energy is gathering to replace this collapsing system… quietly connected in seen and unseen ways, very diverse and beautiful, as nature herself.
We all know that we cannot love our children and give them the world as it is, for that would be an inheritance of death – spiritual and physical. So, no surprise, today I’d like to talk about raising independent and strong children who are ready, in body and spirit, to inherit the potential that we give them. Admittedly, the chaos of the collapse is still to come so our task is a great one.
A few weeks ago a young woman asked me to write an article on raising children. My inner response was, “We have to raise ourselves first.” Then, of course, I let the request and my response settle in for a bit and tried to think of any parents I knew who considered themselves brilliantly successful at raising their children. We do the best that we can, and if we are committed, we work continuously on making our best, better.
The renewal is built upon new information, new knowledge, new capabilities, and a willingness to overcome our own conditioning while tenderly protecting and informing our children. The programming of the control system is a pernicious enemy, and we can be the counterbalance… but oh the understanding and wisdom and love of the spirit that is required.
I don’t think we need to talk about the stages of development of a child as this information can be gained elsewhere and I’m confident that the readers of this blog are informed. There is also plenty of child rearing advice available and, whether helpful or not, it is reflective of culture or matrix programming. One should always be aware of where expert opinion comes from and what it leads to.
Here’s how Krishnamurti made the point: “It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society.”
What we can talk about is who your child really is. We can talk about the importance of attention to this person; the importance of communicating by listening for feeling rather than emotion or words; the effect of the location of your home; and the reflection of yourself that you see in your child.
So, who is your child really? Genetically the child is a combination of its parents, but there is another element that belongs to the child alone, and that is the spirit. There are many who are much more knowledgeable than I on the information that we call spirit or energy. Still, through our experience, we can verify that children are individuals unto themselves, and they come to us with personality, talents, even memories that we did not give them.
We might want to call that packet of information our child comes to us with, the higher self. The child is here to gain more experience for evolutionary purposes, or to offer something that the world needs at this time. It is possible that the higher selves of the parents and the child have committed to this relationship prior to the birth. I say this to point out that your child is not merely an extension of you.
Attention to and communication with the person who is your child is so vital. If you give attention as required, and respond to the underlying feeling, then the formative years should go fairly well. You will be able to instill trust in your fairness, trust in the good outcome of telling the truth, and inner trust that the child has in self when going away from you and experimenting with independence.
One of the things I learned in raising four sons was to pay attention to the environment outside the home. An environment close to nature is ideal, of course, as there are so many things to learn and do. Unfortunately, many of us are living in densely populated cities. Even though you may protect your children from a degrading environment through home schooling and driving to parks for play, the energy of your neighborhood will have an effect. I would strongly advise keeping this in mind.
There are many ways in which your child can be your teacher, and one of those ways is to unintentionally reflect you back to you. Your own weaknesses, your ego’s opinion, your anger, your lies to self, the problems in your marriage or relationship – you’re going to see these reappear in your children, or you will see them harmed by their efforts to adapt to your dysfunction.
I know that we all have to deal with our conditioning. My encouragement is to do it steadily, on a day to day basis. Correct yourself, apologize, and forgive yourself when you make mistakes. It’s about growth, and your child will observe your growth as well as your errors. If you can be stronger the next time, and break your reactive patterns, your child will learn strength and emotional control.
In choosing to be a parent in this day of great change, our intent must be clear. We want to send strong, independent, honorable, heart-centered human beings out into the world. To accomplish this, I encourage you to connect with their higher self, and know that this energy is not a baby. Allow them to grow into their own wisdom, and respect who they are. They came in to face a profound challenge, and the renewal is for them, if they so choose.