Almost forty years ago, when my second son was young, I started having dreams of an atomic bomb exploding. One time it was in a playground… another time I could see it in the distance. In every dream my son would be in my arms, my precious little baby, and I would be running and searching, experiencing tremendous fear. It was not a fear that he or we would die… it was a fear that his life would be worse than death, and I could not save him from it.
Well, no atomic bombs fell nearby, he lived and experienced easy and hard times, became daddy to two beautiful children, made a good life for himself and his family, and happily for me, he kept on loving his ‘spiritually minded’ mother.
I don’t know what triggered the dreams. It could have been that I was tapping into the fear of the collective mind… also could have been the arguments going on at the time regarding nuclear power. I remember asking a business executive, “What about the radioactive waste… what about future generations?” He responded, “By that time they’ll have figured out how to handle it.” I heard my inner voice say, “I could never get with this person… he’s an absolute idiot.”
Well… I was young. Idiots are not absolute… they can change. When the threat becomes immediate even the most cold-hearted can wake up… and I imagine quite a few have. But the point is, life has sent me into fear plenty of times, so I know how overwhelming, controlling and confining it can be. And the funny thing about it… there is no benefit to it: being aware, yes; perceiving danger, yes; avoiding danger, yes; but fear… it’s a lose/lose.
I haven’t had end of the world nightmares for a long time, but I have wondered… did I bring these beautiful innocent babies into a hell world. Today I’m pretty solid in the knowledge that while it may seem an awful lot like a hell world, it’s heaven world too, and we’re all born for the challenge… find your true self and evolve.
Can we manage to live without fear, and to raise our children without fear for them? I think we can come to terms with that, making enough progress to be able to see the beauty in this experience. We can also overcome a great deal of mental and emotional suffering and the resulting physical pain as well by attending to our liberation journey.
Most fear comes from re-living past trauma, and/or anticipating some imagined future trauma. Actual danger can be felt, but fear is primarily a mind thing, with people thinking and then emotionally reacting to their thoughts, trying to guess what will happen when. The opposite of oneness, fear is a very separating emotion and it leads to great errors in judgment.
Ideally, if we train ourselves to do so, we can rely on perception of energy and flow, and intuition and awareness. With fear out of the way, we have the possibility of clear judgment. Standing up to life with faith and trust in our inner divinity, knowledge and information that is real and pure, and wisdom and self empowerment that is gleaned from practice – this is the journey of the warrior.
We live in a body that is going to die and most likely going to experience pain at some point. I can’t say how greatly the fear of death and suffering was manipulated by systems and beliefs in the past, but in today’s world we can say – we’re facing a huge onslaught – a million things threatening to kill us or harm us. It has gotten to the point of ridiculousness… do I dare breathe this air, do I dare drink this water, should I eat this vegetable… it could be covered in bacteria!!
I feel for us: jammed into a corner, inundated with warnings, having no trust in the system, having not yet found trust in ourselves, our nerves in the red zone. What a journey we have chosen… to be here at the time of the collapse of one world and the renewal of another. But just as thoroughly as fear is woven in, liberation is woven in too – our world is forcing us to evolve.
The orders seem to be: get over the idea that you can anticipate and control what is happening. There are greater forces at work. Instead, raise your energy and empower yourself. Find the divinity that you are… your true self. Latch on to it, trust it, have faith in the positive outcome, and enter the highest form of battle.
How courageous we are to be here, taking it on, helping each other, nurturing, communicating, growing, refining, evolving. Grace is in the corner of the brave humans, warming and opening their hearts. Pure truth is what this universe is made of – the force of light that the system (the fearful human mind-created system) would most of all want to extinguish… but it cannot.
Spiritual teachers advise us to stay in the moment as much as possible, and this is very good instruction in that it raises our energy. When we dwell in the moment, we are able to feel our connection to self, and there is peace. In this very moment as I write, the dog is resting at my feet, there’s a glass of clean water next to my chair, a cool breeze is blowing in, all is quiet outside, nothing hurts in my body, I’m not hungry… and as I hold my place, there is no past experience, no future dread.
Just me experiencing the truth… that I Am. Of course I am up to this trip… we all are… we made it for ourselves… bless us, our beautiful intent… we came here to grow and to serve.
And yes, sometimes the ‘in the moment’ state doesn’t last… our peace is interrupted or invaded, but it’s the point of One: our plug-in to the power source. So going there as often as possible is wise. It takes us into the warrior’s stance – standing within what is real vs. what is illusion of the mind.
The new fear is the same as the old fear… it’s the fear of death. We are eternal life, and we have stepped into the unknown many times, so let’s not worry about it. We came here to grow, and to serve the intent of our higher self.
Message to self when fear comes knocking: gear up and charge up, adore your beautiful friends, love the love, and be the truth. Everything has always worked out… cuz the plan is divine, and we belong to it.