Soft and Powerless?

Are we intuitively led and guided despite the ego? Looking back, my life tells me that we certainly are: intuition, synchronicity, the magnetic pull of our yearning to understand why, and what is… these things slowly move us toward awareness of True Self and Spirit. I imagine it’s that way for all of us who haven’t lost the yearning. We are remembering or reawakening to what is forgotten, and we are helped.

It’s totally on point to say ‘despite the ego’, since the ego is the obstacle. When I think about some of my attempts at spiritual seeking or having ‘spiritual’ relationships, always so fraught with righteous emotion, ‘worthless me’, and sacrifice, I have to shake my head and smile. What a story: big ego invites serious ‘rearrangement’… again.

When we start out we don’t know where the guide is, so we follow the direction of the personal will, thinking that spirituality must be all about me getting this information or getting this experience. Unfortunately the experience can’t help but be shallow because we’re shallow, and the information does not satisfy.

But when we really do yearn for understanding, there is always another day and another way. Being a bit more humble and open to change, we find the information soaks in better, and the right persons come into the picture to teach us or inspire us. The journey becomes a little less about ‘me’ and a little more about surrender: surrender the ego’s will, stop wanting, start listening, and the ageless divinity will show itself.

In the seventies and eighties spirituality was trendy, but not as trendy as we see it today. When something is a trend, the hard work moves to the background, quick fixes get monetized, and there is no depth or staying power. Shallow isn’t bad… a little bit of a good thing is better than nothing, and it can lead to continued effort as my own life demonstrates. So it seems to me that following a popular trend may open the mind and cultivate the energy.

One thing that occurs to me, though, is the false impression that a superficial trend creates. Are ‘spiritual people’ soft and powerless? No, not at all, but I can see where the impression comes from. Dedication, work, focus, commitment, sacrifice, honesty, humility, practice, tenacity… one doesn’t gain inner power by imagining it: it requires effort. Why would we presume otherwise? Effort is required in any undertaking in life.

The spiritual journey is ancient. When we study and dedicate to Spirit, we’re just uncovering, within ourselves, information that highly developed, wise and powerful humans have known and successfully utilized for a long, long time. Unlike in the control matrix, where power is displayed and wielded, inner power like unto that of the ancients is hidden, and it hardly ever needs to be wielded. And it is soft… as soft as a steel blade wrapped in cotton, or granite covered in velvet.

The trend followers are ‘hurting’ for happiness and fulfillment just like everybody else. Where can people go to get past superficiality, to become little more committed and dedicated? Anywhere. Everything is spiritual if you make it that way, including cleaning the toilet.

Some of our deepest learning and awakening experiences are the hardest, because they are the most humble. They are not ego-driven, require no travel, cost nothing, there’s no fashion involved, no special terminology, and nobody’s watching. We get this deepening experience and true information when working with what is right in front of us: those people and situations we have drawn to ourselves.

For example, if a couples relationship is the issue, then a good conversation with our partner, while observing the rise of thoughts and feelings within ourselves, will most likely give us a starting point from which to learn what we need to know. Remember: surrender the ego’s will, stop wanting, start listening.

How do you listen? First, take note that there is a difference between the cold ego and the warm heart. If in a conversation you hear yourself saying, “I have needs,” check where the assertion is coming from… the cold ‘I centered’ ego or the warm ‘I Am’ heart. We can feel whether we’re coming from a warm or cold place, and taking note of our thoughts and energy and other people’s energy in response to us, definitely works.

If the assertion is coming from the heart, it will most likely feel valid to both parties. The workings of the heart are tender and warm, respectful and generous, and truthful. Truth penetrates, and it is loving and healing at the same time. What a wonderful power.

Anger and resentment belong to the ego. If these emotions come up, well, remember that ego is the self-serving bias, operating in a way that is advantageous to itself, so don’t play like it’s more than that. There’s no need to judge yourself as inadequate either. Just take it as the information you asked for and wake up from there.

When we look back at some of our foolishness, it becomes evident that personal ego does not know what is best. It knows what, within its purview, it has decided to want, and therefore it can’t help but be limited.

What within us is unlimited? The unlimited light… that spark of universal consciousness within. We are guided to it by a yearning much deeper than the ego’s want. And we are helped.



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