We’re approaching Mother’s Day – another commercial holiday in the U.S. about which we can have mixed feelings. The marketing encourages everyone to give attention to their mom, and talk to her, spend money on her, or if she has left this physical plane, to think of her and miss her.
Mothers definitely don’t mind having a day when they can enjoy some attention, so it’s pretty much a given that a lot of flowers and greeting cards will be sold. That’s the way it works, and I’m no different. I like the attention, love flowers and dinner out, and I miss my Mom… can’t think of her voice calling my name without the eyes getting wet.
We go to mother when we are in emotional pain, and at a loss as to what to do. Her love is the balm, the safe haven – the place where another heart understands our pain, and helps to lift it off, sort it out, or endure it. It is within her nature to intuitively know when love is needed, and to respond to the need with just the right measure of love.
But mothers aren’t perfect in their response. They can be weakened by fear and undone by the responsibility; they can be overbearing and controlling, and they can sometimes be incapable of intimacy for one reason or another. My mother didn’t fail very often, and when she did, it was not from incapacity, but from conditioned fear. She was an imperfect woman who loved me, and I’m so fortunate that she was mine.
The mixed feelings at Mother’s Day come not so much from the materialism, but from the fact that a romantic ideal is floated, and real mothers can’t live up to that ideal. The marketing of ‘mother perfect’ just adds to the fear conditioning, making young mothers insecure, self-accusing, competitive, guilt-ridden consumers, tied to their children egotistically.
It dawned on me a few days ago that I’ve been a mother for 50 years! Raising babies is humbling. It definitely teaches you patience and hones your intuition. It tests and refines you day in and day out. I’d say that’s a spiritual journey par excellence. And that’s about all I can say: motherhood is a divine privilege that none of us qualifies for… and we do evolve with it!
So let’s look at this privilege and see how it manifests as divine.
First, it seems there are few things as revolting as when a mother fails horribly, neglecting, abusing, or even taking the innocent life she brought into the world. Nature gives us the example of mother protecting and nurturing, so we expect it, and rightfully so. When we see grotesque deviations from nature, it shocks the consciousness.
What has happened to these mothers? What happened to mothers who allow a pedophile into the home, or fail to protect a child from a father’s abuse? What happened to mothers who are warmongers? What happened to mothers who use a baby to anchor a man? What happened to mothers who can’t find their softness… can’t open their heart to anyone? What happened to the mothers who fear?
To answer that we have to look at the ‘something’ that happened to all of us. An exploitation mentality took over a long time ago and it has resulted in an incredible poverty of care. The heartless rule, exploit and enslave. Many believe the exploitation has reached the point where we’re looking at human and animal extinction. If we’re going to find ways to save ourselves and our children, it seems like now had better be the time.
And that is where the ‘divine’ of motherhood comes into play: nurture, care, protection of life and spirit… is this not a divine impulse?
It is the opposite of exploit. To nurture is to give to life rather than take from it. If only we could all nurture. If only we could all be Mother. That’s a dream that wants to manifest, and I do see it forming inside the swirl of events.
Here’s a subtle change: In the last decade I’ve observed more and more men ‘mothering’ their children… doing things that men didn’t take on as their task in the past. Every time I see a father consoling, feeding, grooming, shopping for, playing with, teaching and disciplining his child… it gives me great pleasure, and it confirms my faith.
We are evolving: we’re traveling from the mind to the heart because it is time, and we must.
Another change: We are seeing millions concerned with caring for Mother Earth. You might think it’s a losing battle, considering the speed at which the exploiters are raping and trashing. But we’re picking up speed too, engaging in the fight, rising up to protect life, spreading the word. People are changing the ways they consume. Gardens are replacing lawns. Truth is having an impact… because it must.
And now we can return to Mother’s Day, to consider something that won’t be written on a greeting card. Your mother is a unique being, an individual universe of consciousness in a body. She chose to give you a place in that body, and risked her life to do that. Then she cared for you.
Have you considered that this mother of yours was a person before you met her? Do you know… that person is still who she is? Inquire into her as an interesting soul intimately connected. You chose her and she chose you for a reason.
Considering all we have spoken of… if your mother is an elder, you might want to help her complete her experience on a liberating high note. Whatever her needs are, intuitively knowing and responding to them would be a profound gift to you both. Just pause and think about it.
And now… how will you love the mother in you? Give her equality with the father. Reason less, feel more. Every human being needs care and our world suffers from a poverty of care. That is so apparent. Is ‘be a mother’ the answer? Honestly… imagine it.