Cultivating the Love

I was going to write a little article about drugs and plant medicines, but when I started thinking about it so many things came to mind: pain, fear, intention, weariness, inner strength, choices… and the fact that this is an incredible time of change. We came here for this change, to be a part of it, so let’s have a look at where we are and how it’s moving.

In When the Soul Starts Walking, I mentioned a time when I used weed daily. It enhanced my creativity and allowed me to enter more deeply into the music I was writing. I could see a benefit, and used it until I no longer enjoyed it. We know it’s a medicine with many, many medical benefits and some psychological benefits. Intentional use of plant medicines, such as weed or kratom, for relief of chronic physical pain, gets a thumb’s up from me – used when or if needed.

Weed can also be a means of avoiding the pain of our existence, as with alcohol, opiates and other drugs. I understand the desire to be relieved of pain. If I had alcohol or drugs sitting around, easily available, there are times when I might be tempted, so no judgment there either. But… it doesn’t work well to turn your back on things. Escape or denial can be tempting, but the consequences come calling. So on this journey we learn to face what arises and live the highs and lows with a clear head, only using drugs with conscious intention.

Regarding the highs and lows, many in the online community are discussing the changes people are individually and collectively experiencing. In these discussions there can be quite a bit of new terminology used. I haven’t used a lot of new terminology as I still find it to be nebulous, i.e. light codes – am I feeling them? Not that I’m aware of. Also regarding terminology, when I say love yourself, it really is that respectful, honoring kind of love… not the ‘I’m a queen’ kind.

For me it’s more comfortable to be simple: I’m simply noticing how I feel within the awareness of changes taking place. And yes, I too am inside of some changes. Since every one of us experiences change when under pressure, is this time period unusual? Yes – the speed, intensity, and expansion of awareness are really piling on the pressure – it’s unusual.

The heart opens. I can validate the heart terminology – heart people, heart-centered consciousness, seat of inner divinity, unity consciousness – these terms I understand and have shared in the experience. It’s true, happening, evolutionary, and not a ‘come get your bliss’ trip. Sometimes my own state of being is so undifferentiated that I have to just lie down, breathe and ‘feel’ without asking to understand.

Grief, fear of collapse, emptiness, emotional weariness, memory bruises… this life, past life, someone else’s life, collective suffering? Sometimes it’s necessary to relax and trust yourself fully, knowing that this is a step on the journey and things do work out. Sure enough the moments pass, realization of the perfection of it all comes across, and forward we go.

I’ve seen that some of this pain comes from the heartfelt yearning for life to be as it ‘should’ be (as if it is not now as it should be.) That is a crucible for me, to be aware of so much that opposes the love we are here to create and manifest. It helps to remind myself: dear Ida… you don’t have to know the outcome, just let your heart sort it out.

From this position I watch the young people, talk with them, and gain some awareness of their experience. Quite a few are using drugs to escape, or to medicate for anxiety or trauma, and the relief they pursue will often be at their own expense or the expense of others who love them.

Is their drug use different than our hippie days experimentation? Yes. Today it’s a much different world – there’s no play. It’s a situation of: face a future that looks like no future, believe in mom and dad’s dreams, be a creator and serious problem solver, escape into whatever distractions can be found, or give in to the downward pressure and give up. The only thing comparable to my day, on a level of threat and survival, would be the experience of young men in Vietnam. Some of them went to opiates for relief, and that’s some of what we’re seeing today as well.

When I consider that we human beings choose our track, to be born into circumstances that demand extreme choices, to experience the pressure, I just have to say… these must be brave souls. They have opted for an incredibly challenging scenario. Actually, so have we all.

Can any of the troubled be rescued? You can try. I recently lost a young, 17-year-old friend to prison. He had been coming to our house for peace and inner safety. If he really needed it, I would let him get out the cot and sleep in the living room, right by the window where he felt calm. He was in pain; he impulsively did petty theft and he knew his behavior was screwed up. He would overdo the drugs. I figured he was medicating anxiety or PTSD.

One of my sons, more than a decade older, was trying to guide him and help him. I asked my son why this young man couldn’t control his impulses and he told me: “It’s the music he is listening to – very violent, all gang stuff. He puts on the headphones and just zones out in there.” Seventeen-year-olds aren’t supposed to have guns. Turns out that if he hadn’t had a gun with him on that night, he would have been killed. At the least he’s facing a gun charge, at the most it could be much worse.

As often as I could I talked to him about what matters. He listened, and understood it was his own light I was pointing to: keep it alive, cherish it above all else, and don’t lie to yourself. This young man has integrity, loyalty, kindness and depth, but his inner goodness was under assault, and it had been under assault for a long time. He was tired. It seems he gave one last try with us, and gave up to what became, or already was, his destiny.

What does this have to do with the pain I was describing earlier? He is obviously living out the threat and survival experience and we’re not… or are we? The tears I shed for him felt like they were for us all.

When you cultivate love for your own heart, with no agenda and no judgment, and you align your choices with that love for you, things start changing. Old interests and patterns are shed – not because you decide to, or you judge these interests to be ‘low vibration’, but because they’re just no longer interesting.

I’ve long believed that the people who come into my life are here for a reason: maybe they’re here because I need to drop some judgments, maybe they came to learn or to teach or most likely both. Sometimes they want peace and I want to see love win. With troubled people we pretty much know why they are the way they are. We can listen and keep an ongoing intention to encourage their liberation. Every time I’ve done this, it has been liberating for me, and sometimes I can see it has helped.

So now, let’s return to drugs. My friend used drugs in an effort to feel high, ‘check out’, or deaden the pain. He wasn’t thinking clearly and obviously was vulnerable to the poisons of the so-called music he was listening to. Many millions of people are in the same boat with him, not knowing how impactful the messages or ‘escapes’ can be. They use legal drugs, zone out on TV or videogames, go shopping, gamble, watch porn… any number of things to feel high or temporarily escape from pain.

I’m not saying all drugs, TV, video games, and shopping are ‘bad’. I’m not even saying escape is ‘bad’. It’s how consciously these things are used. Intention means a lot – use them with a conscious intention and it totally changes the impact. Some things will drop off, just like in my life. You won’t be interested anymore.

One of my early teachers, now nearing his eighties, told me about his use of weed, saying that it’s our natural state to be high, and being unable to reach our natural state, we seek it through artificial means. He told how years ago he gave up the weed and started getting high through fasting. I can attest to how well fasting works – it’s a peaceful clarity available for free.

At the time he said it’s our natural state to be high, I didn’t know what he was referring to. Today I believe he was referring to a remembered state of being, brought into life and experienced in early childhood. I clearly remember my own ‘high’ state, and the time when I began to depart from it. The departure leaves a very deep longing, and the feeling that things are not the way they should be. For some people the feeling leads to a yearning for home, which would mean leaving the physical.

He was the first teacher that I heard speaking about bringing heaven to earth. The terminology being used for this today would be: entering 5D, ascension, the shift, the return to Camelot, or even as described in the Bible, the holy city descending dressed as a bride. To me heaven is simply ‘in the script’, destined, planned, and it seems I’ve always had an inner knowing of this. Helping to bring in the change of worlds has been the task of many of us, as we are not here to just live and learn and go home, but to bring home here.

How would we do that? Actually we’ve been doing it: cultivate authentic, open-hearted and kind communication with yourself, others around you and those you encounter, and make it your spiritual practice to love the divinity (truth/love) in all: that is bringing home here. It’s a ‘love lift us up where we belong’ kind of a thing.

We know people have a lot of things to surmount. The young man who is now in prison showed me a human collapsing from the forces against him. All of us are well aware that life itself is under assault, and we are pummeled emotionally, mentally, spiritually and physically. If we were to avoid everything toxic, we would have to shut down all of our senses and forget about breathing.

So yes – this is no ordinary time period. Our task is to find the way through and stay with it until the world that surrounds us, reflects our love back to us. Regarding the pain… it seems that feelings transmuted through the heart lift us toward the liberation of all whether or not we fully understand the process.

I like the word Faith. It definitely doesn’t mean chilling out and believing that something powerful outside of you is going to make things work out. And it doesn’t mean setting up a control trip and believing in that. Faith means doing it without knowing the outcome.



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