Motherless Child Revisited

We’re approaching another one of the holidays in the US, this one being Mother’s Day. On Sunday we’re encouraged to give some love to Mom, and even though it’s a contrived and commercial holiday, it can still be sweet. As it happens, this article does touch upon Mother. It was not my intention to post a ‘mother’ writing on this particular weekend but since it just happened, I’m kind of glad of the coincidence.

I’m going to begin with something Stuart Wilde said: “You don’t have to apologize for the fact that you decided to take life in a sacred way. You don’t have to apologize for the fact that you’re silently walking from ego to God.” So, no apologies, we will just walk and do whatever keeps us on track.

Always now, always new: we’re the orchestra or we’re the choir, we’re performing and we know instinctively where every other one is going with the next note – no worries, no thinking, just being and enjoying. It’s perfection. The flow, energy, color, sound – life is divinity in the act of eternally creating the new.

I am the particular sound and color of Ida and there is no other like me, you are your sound and your color and there is no other like you. We’re in these miraculous bodies; we listen and hear, we look and see, harmony and rhythm are built in, colors vibrate naturally – this Now performance of breath, life, awareness, consciousness – is feeling so good: realizing… we are the divinity performing creation.

So, if what I said is even just a little bit true to you and me, then why are we slugging along carrying a bag of grief and sadness? Things didn’t turn out the way we thought they might? We can’t control any of the outcomes in ways that we think best? We’re afraid. So why in the world do we worry if we really are Divinity in the Now performing Life?

Well, I guess there’s a history to everything; a lot involved in this, no clarity handed out, and it isn’t all joy. Conditioning: we are told and shown things over and over again, and these things become real. We believe there is something wrong with us, something lacking that we have to get, something to be ashamed of in the past, something bad going to happen, and we call it stress.

Like so many others, I’ve been familiar with the term ‘judgment day’ since early childhood. The adults gave me warnings and a fear message, and they meant well… it was what they believed. They said that some day God, who knows your every deed and every thought, will decide your fate… and there are some things he might not like, including any disbelieving thoughts. So always be on your toes, edit yourself according to ideas of what is right and wrong, and remember… when you do right He loves and will never leave you, and when you do wrong judgment can happen at any moment!

A belief like that can put a really chilling, restrictive imprint on an innocent mind, and it’s meant to. Innocent doesn’t know anything about editing itself, but life on earth does.

We’re at the end of a very long time period of restriction. For thousands of years we’ve been doing a performance of… billions of different versions of… jail. If we want to know what the Purpose is, I guess we can liberate ourselves and then look at how we did the liberation. But honestly, why ask why – we will be the answer or we are the purpose.

The threat and survival landscape doesn’t just affect our lives, for millions of people it rules life. In threat and survival there is Authority and there are behavior restrictions. If we want to graduate from threat and survival, judgment, innocence and guilt are good places to visit, to get a ‘feel’, and to transform what is encountered if we can. It’s dark in there, but actually there’s a notion floating around that darkness gives birth to the light. If we accept that we are, as our higher selves, divinity creating in the Now, then threat and survival is as much a divine performance as are evolution and ascension.

Life in this particular time period is not for the faint-hearted… we’re finding that faith is a necessity. But I’m told there are folks who have achieved self realization, which is God realization. I believe it. These folks got out of jail and they are on a mission to help. As much as we might resist the religious connotation, this looks like the time when every prophecy is fulfilled including judgment. But… don’t worry, it’s bad news for the matrix devotees maybe, but that’s it. For us, God comes home and truth moves across the landscape like sunlight.

Since we are unique individuals with no two experiences alike, no one can offer a ‘fits all’ recipe in dealing with the changes. We still have to experience our own unique journey. We can be grateful for the truthful and loving humans who are here to be of service.

So let’s move on. A few days ago I visited a criminal court and watched a judge deal with some accused folks and their lawyer advocates. Why was I there? In a previous article I spoke about a young man that I had tried to help, and how he made a choice that was destructive, and oddly, it almost seemed pre-written into the scenario that is his life – unavoidable. When my son passionately claimed, “They have to free him, he’s innocent,” I replied, “He’s not innocent and you know it.” And to myself I said, “He’s not guilty either.”

I sat in the courtroom for his bond hearing because I wanted him to see that I was still his friend. I listened to the cases that came before his, the crimes and the confessions and the testimonies; I watched the judge and the lawyers, and the people doing their jobs – characters in a ‘justice’ performance. What would it feel like to work here, I wondered. The vibe of the place: rigid, hard. I’d be grateful to live the rest of my years without entering one again.

Not innocent and not guilty either… isn’t that what we all are… various shades of grey…

It’s the God on the outside and fear on the inside that makes us so very weak and dependent on the approval or opinion of others. For a long, long time all of our power was given to the outside Authority, and we became so filled with criticism, so judgmental of ourselves and others for not living up, so willing to dislike people and get entangled in negativity. Unconditional love was unheard of. The God on the outside didn’t even love unconditionally.

I have looked into that dark corner and realized… I was taught to love the invisible God Force and hate myself. Isn’t that a twist – the outside being full and the inside being empty? This twist is amazingly powerful and it has worked to control me countless times. That’s the jail. Or should I say that’s the matrix… the big outer matrix of the courtroom and the inner matrix of conditioning.

We are told that all is love, love is the only reality, and at the same time we secretly, quietly, sadly feel ourselves to be empty of the wisdom of it, the grace, the authority, the beneficence of it.

Stuart used to refer to “The New Dignity”, and I really like the sound of that. Some writers are calling it the shift… emerging into the time when Divinity, with attributes we can only attempt to express as Truth/Love/Light, comes home and manifests on the earth through us, because Divinity Is Us. We can open our jail door intellectually, thinking about and acknowledging the concept of divinity within, after all, Jesus said so. But as we all know, the journey to authenticity, to who we really are, to our true selves… that’s an incredibly humbling, challenging, painful, scary uncovering and opening of the heart.

New Dignity: recognizing choices, knowing that we are free to do as we choose without being scrutinized by a sky judge, and still, even though some other person might offend us, we choose to be kind and thoughtful, not because it’s ‘right’, but because it feels better. Knowing that there is no judge watching, and we can get money from ‘hustling’ or deceiving or exaggerating, and yet we choose to be honest and decent… because it feels better. Knowing that we can do whatever we want, and choosing to do what our higher self wants, not squeaky clean like fingernails on a blackboard, just integrity – a private goodness… because it feels better.

But Love… what about that? For the last several thousand years at the least, we have looked outside of ourselves for the greatest Love, so we can’t expect to read a spiritual book or two and suddenly know what love feels like and acts like. What we can do is start to align with the most harmonic feeling within ourselves (that which feels better), realizing that love was never gone: it has been locked up, beaten up, terrorized and viewed as utter weakness when indeed, like Truth, it is the ultimate power. Unconditional love? If we don’t fully respect and love our own divine self – the creator of our experience – then it’s not time for unconditional.

Yes, the world is changing, there is a shift in consciousness – that which has survived and emerged from the restriction. Prophecy calls it death and resurrection. Obviously it’s not the dead physical form we’re watching resurrect. In any case, we look forward to humanity uncovering and identifying the wellspring of Love within the human heart. This is the Authority, having changed location, having come home. What a liberated creative time is promised, and actually is appearing.

Spiritual practice: There’s lots of it going on and to each his own, but for me, as I mentioned in the beginning, relationships are excellent spiritual practice. People come and go or stick around in my life and I am challenged to love the divinity in myself and others through all kinds of relationships and communications.

In a previous article I talked about how these relationships and experiences have served to help evaporate a lot of judgments and prejudices that were conditioned into me through my upbringing. After the 17 year-old, and the courtroom, I was kind of feeling done with young people and their issues, as their energy can be invasive. And then a few weeks ago somebody called. This person was a childhood friend of my godson, so maybe he’s here to gain some lessons from my godson? I don’t know.

He is homeless and is getting a ‘short stay’ while he gets it together. He shows signs of having been very disrespectful of others, and I can feel it. In the meantime, I find out a bit about him. “My mother is crazy, really crazy,” he says to me, and doesn’t take it any further. He doesn’t tell me why, but I find out from my son that his mother was a prostitute. She is in addiction recovery. And my heart opens a little.

Just a few days ago my friend Soren sent me a video of Prince singing ‘Motherless Child.’ While he was singing I was kind of breaking up inside, thinking of every 12 year old boy including my own – how desperately they needed their mothers – that soft touch that shows up when you’re injured, the defender who’s there when you make a mistake, or the fierce one who can get Serious. Maybe it’s just a conversation needed… and that can be a very deep and elevated spiritual practice – conversation.

Prince’s passionate performance brought me to an unusual place: we’re so accustomed to people saying God and He, and Allah and He, and even Truth and He – using the masculine gender when speaking of the Source or Divinity. Or we say Mother Earth or Goddess of a certain thing. But here I was ‘feeling’ Prince and thinking – why is he motherless? God has a mother!! What is the Holy Mother of God? She is the feminine wellspring of unconditional love in whom there is no judgment.

I feel okay with Consciousness being the Divine Masculine and with the Mother of Consciousness, the wellspring, being the Divine Feminine.

As we return to the heart/mind we see the lingering effects of restriction being lifted from us slowly, through authentic and respectful relationships: first with our own self and then with the people who show up in our lives. What a wonderful series of challenges and blessings, as we help her to resurrect within us, and we are no longer motherless.

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Happy Mother’s Day!

wellspring

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